Veet
16 December 2008 by Rosel
Senseless Saturday night, crossing over into Sunday morning, obsessing over someone's microscopic existence projected through a single webpage into the welcoming arms of casual observers and stalkers alike, Buzz!!!
Tol, pwede ba daw gamitin yung Veet sa pubes?
On a senseless and wasted Saturday night, what could be more stimulating than a discussion on the dire effects of a chemical hair-burner on one of the rankest things that evolution got wrong? Based on anecdotal evidence from friend and internet (also considered friend), I have long ago arrived at the conclusion that Veet, or any other sulfuric-acid based formula masquerading itself as a safe épilator, must be avoided at all costs, good sex or otherwise.
Hinde.
I suggested what men as a species will never be able to conquer, the final battleground in which I declare women as the victors of the never-ending war of gender equity. Seasoned feminists and traditionalists routinely cite this daring act; there has never been an volume of the Vagina Monologues in which this exclusively female turf was not mentioned. Even the Dead Sea Scrolls have it in Sharpie ink.
Men will go to war, but they will never go to a waxing parlor.
I will take a bullet for Ellen DeGeneres, and I can wax my own legs.
Ouch.
Pain, suck it up, breathe it in, Zimbabweans are dehydrating from Cholera introduced by the UK to create an excuse to topple down the great leader Robert Mugabe, the French suffer from a nationwide epidemic of heavy legs, Eritreans face Scandinavian winters for the sake of living. Pain. 5 minutes. This isn't Guantanamo. Get over it.
What about shaving?
Stubble thicker than my father's beard? Perpetual itching enough for you and everyone else to believe a mysterious crab contamination? Not to mention its high and time-consuming upkeep costs. Hypocrite is this author, as she herself shaves the nastiness that carries the aroma that many men and women (I have a women only requirement) want to smell, but not floss with. $40 a month is simply not an option, but neither is self-inflicted masochistic pain. The times when green paper was in abundance are now missed.
I declare war on recession and hair below the eyebrows. Removal should be covered by universal insurance. The French haven't done that yet. Now is the time for Americans to set the trend in haute-beauté.
